where the light enters you


“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”

Rumi

I’ve accumulated my share of wounds.  I keep them safely hidden away from prying eyes.  Wounds of past loves, past regrets.  More often regrets of things not said or done than of things said or done.

swiss cheese

I’ve loved two men in my life.  The first love left me with as many wounds as Swiss cheese has holes.  If it’s true wounds are where the Light enters you, then Light illuminates me like a lighthouse.

lighthouse beacon

After that first love, I worried I’d never love again. But life keeps sending me people to love. Two children of my womb.  Many children of my heart, whom I call my bonus children.  One beautiful bonus granddaughter, and now another on the way.  Parents.  Siblings.  Nephews and sweet little nieces.

I know women who always have a man to love. As soon as one leaves, another replaces him.  That’s never been me. Men don’t gravitate to me that way.

I attract children. Children who need to be loved unconditionally.

Unconditional love is what I offer to everyone who enters my heart.  Children who need love seem to naturally gravitate to me.  They instinctively know I love them just as they are.  I fuss at them if they do things wrong. I listen when they want to talk. I feed them when they let me.  And I love them all.  Just as they are.

Maybe that unconditional love is what keeps men away.  Maybe it’s too hard for them to believe that I will love and accept them just as they are.

Maybe the Light from my wounds attracts those who need Light the most.

I used to worry I wouldn’t have anyone to love me. I’d never find a man to love me the way I want to be loved.  Someone to be a safe haven for me.

I don’t worry about love anymore.  As long as my heart is open, I will find people to love.  People who will love me.  My children and family.  My bonus children who call me Miss Regina or Mama.  My friends who would do anything for me.

I was overwhelmed by the darkness once. Love pulled me out.  Maybe my wounds illuminate me so that I can pull others out of the darkness and into love.

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