adventures in dating (or dating is like panning for gold)

Woman panning for gold

Dating is a lot like prospecting for gold.  You have to have the right equipment.  You spend a lot of time sifting through sand and muck to find a few pieces of gold.  Then you have to sort through the flecks still in the pan to see if it is real gold or just fool’s gold.

I’ve been doing a lot of prospecting since my divorce.  I’ve signed up on dating websites. I’ve let my friends and acquaintances know I’m single and available.

I spend a few hours a week sifting through emails and profile pages, the sand and muck of dating.

I sift through looking for the men who are real gold.  I spend time emailing them before giving them my cell phone number.  Texts and phone calls are dating precursors.  Shaking, always shaking the pan, sifting out the sand and muck.

Then there are the dates with the men who seem like potential gold. But are they real gold, or just fool’s gold?

Nugget of fool's gold

fool’s gold

The problem with fool’s gold is that it looks a lot like gold.  More than one prospector has been embarrassed thinking they’d found real gold when they really just had a big chunk of fool’s gold.  Every dater knows that feeling, too.  You think you’ve found someone golden, only to realize that they’re just fool’s gold.

So, what’s a dater to do?  The first thing you do when you find a nugget is smell it.  Real gold has no smell.  Fool’s gold smells like sulfur.  Trust your senses when you are prospecting for men, too.  If you spend enough time with them, your senses will know the difference between the real men and the fool’s gold.

The second test every prospector knows is to check the malleability of the nugget.  If you bite it, and it leaves teeth marks, it’s real gold.  Fool’s gold is brittle, but real gold is easily indented.   So, go ahead and give it a little nibble to see if it’s real gold or fool’s gold. 

I’m enjoying the nibbling right now.  Enjoying the process of figuring out who is fool’s gold and who is real gold.  Most people will show you pretty quickly which kind of gold they are.

Believe people when they tell you who they are.  If someone admits to being fool’s gold, no matter how much they look like real gold, believe them.  Nobody lies about being fool’s gold.

Question:  How do you separate the fool’s gold from the real gold in your love life?

6 thoughts on “adventures in dating (or dating is like panning for gold)

  1. Greetings from the UK!
    Its the same here! I have spent 2 years on and off dating sites meeting Fools Gold & Real Gold gents. After a time you get to suss them out- you look for signals- they never text first, or they dont contact you at weekends (hidden families) and the biggest clue my great uncle suggested looking for is not what they tell you its what they don’t tell you! If an innocent question doesn’t get answered it tends to mean they are hiding something.
    Like you I have been on many dates and I don’t judge a new potential mate on previous experiences.
    The one thing us women have in our favor is our intuition. Use it wisely. That little gut feeling you have shouldn’t be ignored!
    Check my blog out for some of my experiences from Essex, UK


    • Hi, Bonnie!

      Love your blog. I guess fellas are the same the world over! You are spot on about the clues to which ones are fool’s gold and the seeming few who are real gold. I especially like your great uncle’s advice. If I’d heeded that one, one relationship would have finished up much sooner!

      Good luck! Can’t wait to read some more of your dating adventures. 🙂

      Regina Mae

    • I’ve had a few of my man-friends who have made the same comment. Just last week, a friend told me women hang around until they realize he isn’t going to start signing checks…then they move on.

      Glad you liked the post! 🙂

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