Tag Archive | nature boy

my balanced life (or 95 days of movement)


There are ninety-five days left in the year.  I’m making a vow to myself and my body to make them ninety-five days of movement.

silhouette of running woman

Four years ago, I started taking yoga classes.  Yoga saved me.  During the lowest time of my life, yoga was my safe haven.

In 2011, things changed and I couldn’t make it to as many yoga classes.  So I started walking.  And then I started running.  In September 2011, I walked and ran my first 5K.   I finished.  Last.  But last beats the quitters behind me who stopped.  Even the quitters beat all those who didn’t start at all.

I walked or ran two 5Ks last year.  I kept running until November, when I fell and threw my hips out of alignment.

This year, I’ve struggled to get back into my groove.  The yoga studio closed while Carrie uses all of her energy to beat cancer.  There is a yoga class I take on Saturday  mornings, when I’m home.  And healthy.  I haven’t been since…when?  August?  Maybe July?

The last time I ran was the night before Nature Boy got mad, ran down the stairs, jumped over the gate and got bitten by my Rocky dog.  It was one of those hot, late night runs that sustained me through 2011 and mostly eluded me in 2012.  A slow, hot mile in shorts and a sports bra.  Nobody out but me and the moon.

After that, I went to bed each night thinking, “I’m too tired.  I’ll run in the morning.”  And every morning, I’d wake up thinking, “I’m too tired.  I’ll run in the evening.”

There are ninety-five days left of this year, and I’m done with excuses.  I’m going to fill those ninety-five days with movement.  If I’m too tired to run, I’ll walk.  If I’m too tired to walk, I’ll ride my beach bike.  If it’s too rainy to go outside, I’ll go to my yoga room and pretend that Carrie is there to push me to hold that position just a little longer.  Breathe just a little harder.

Between my birthday and the end of the year is when most people put on weight each year.  Between Halloween candy, Thanksgiving feasts and Christmas goodies, it’s a challenge to get through the year without plumping up like that Thanksgiving turkey.

I used to say I dieted and exercised to get my old body back.  I’ve changed my goal.  I don’t want my 25-year-old body anymore.  I want a different body.  A better one.  One that is soft yet firm.  Toned and healthy.  Lungs that can fill me with oxygen.  Heart that beats strong and sure.  Legs that carry me to the finish line.  Arms that hold me in a handstand.  That’s the body I want to walk into 2013.

Move with me!  Let’s end 2012 in triumph and start 2013 in the best shape of our lives! 

adventures in dating (or no adventures, no dating)


Everyone's in a relationship and I'm just sitting here like "....I love my dog."

My lungs are still leading a revolution.  Each day, I accomplish the bare minimum required to sustain work and life.  Thank goodness The Genius is 16 and self-sufficient!

I’m spending the majority of my time lying in bed doing my impersonation of Doc Holliday in Tombstone.

Cough. Cough. Cough.

Val Kilmer did a much better job of it than I am!

Seems like as good a time as any to update my dating site profiles.  New pictures, new descriptions, new batch of potential dates.

I haven’t met anyone new on the dating sites since I started dating Nature Boy.  My last first date was someone I’ve known for years.  Somehow dating someone from a dating site is less pressure – if it doesn’t work out, you never see him again.  No harm.  No foul.

I remind myself that’s how I met Coach, who I dated for four months. Coach who catches better than any man I’ve ever dated.  Coach who has started texting again.  From Colorado.

You are still so very pretty girl.

Somehow when he says it, I believe it.

Take note, Universe:  I’m ready for another beau.  One who makes me feel the good things I felt with Coach and Nature Boy.  And maybe some good things I haven’t felt yet.

Just as soon as I can get through a sentence without coughing on one.

adventures in dating (or here comes the rubber band man)


men are from mars women are from venus

I’ve been reading Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus by John Gray, Ph.D.  For some reason, reading Gray’s theories about men and women make me as prickly as a porcupine.  Men are strong, silent types who have to solve their own problems. Women are clingy, drama queens who just need to sit in your lap for a few minutes to make their problems go away.  Seriously?

The only chapter that makes sense to me is the chapter about men being like rubber bands.  They get close to a woman, realize the level of intimacy is too strong for their comfort, and then run as far away as their rubber band will allow.

If we women do not chase after them (with phone calls, texts, emails), eventually, they will realize they miss us and bounce back to us with even stronger feelings than they had before.

I don’t know if that is true or not.  But I do know one night, Nature Boy told me he could live the rest of his life on air and my touch. Then the next morning, he yelled a lot, ran down the stairs, jumped over the doggy gate and got bitten by my sweet Rocky dog, never to be seen again.

I tried calling him after that, tried to figure out what went wrong, tried to assure him I didn’t want more than he was willing to give.

Then, I gave up.

A couple of weeks passed, then the text.  Have a great day.

Then a few days later, a phone call.  Hey, what are you up to?

About a week later, a phone call about his computer freezing up.  He doesn’t know what to do.  “Bring it to me,” I say.  “I’ll fix it.”

Do you ever wonder, when you haven’t seen someone in a while, if you were missing them, or just missing being with someone?

I was missing him. 

Do you ever wonder, if you come back together again, will it still be as comfortable? As peaceful?  As exciting?

It was.

We spent the evening together, downloading anti-virus programs, updating his security settings, basic computer fixes.  Went out for sushi while we waited on updates.  Laughed and talked about anything and everything.

When he kissed me at the end of the night, it was like that first kiss all over again.

Boing.  Rubber band man is back.

Another week passed, with calls (from him to me, not vice versa), and another meeting to give his computer back.

And now he’s MIA again.  Guess he’s trying to outrun the rubber band again.

Question:  Have you read Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus?  What’s your take on Gray’s theories?

adventures in dating (or pick a team)


Twenty twelve has been my year to learn how to be single again.   I have been on more dates this year than during the entirety of my pre-marital dating life.

baseball players in the dugout

Last year, I read an article by Holly Sidell, He’s Not The One.  Her concept?  That you should approach every man you date as if he is not “THE ONE.”  I remember at the time feeling a little angry and discouraged by her take on dating.

Right after reading her article, I met and started dating Coach.   In spite of all my self-pep-talks that he was NOT THE ONE, I still managed to fall for him.  Literally and figuratively.

By the time I embarked on my New Year’s Eve cruise with my darling friends, Mark and Geoff, I found my own approach to dating.

Every man you date probably isn’t going to be happily ever after.

Thinking about each man as a potential love match leads to a lot of disappointment, tears and frustration.

But thinking about each man as NOT THE ONE was, frankly, just as disappointing and frustrating.

On the cruise, I told Mark and Geoff that I was going to start sorting men into two teams.

Team A is Team Available. I enjoy spending time with these men.  But for any number of possible reasons, they are not appropriate for the position of THE ONE.  When we are both available, we have drinks, watch a movie, spend time together.  When either or both of us aren’t available, we don’t.  No harm.  No foul.  No hurt feelings, disappointment or tears.

Team B is Team Boyfriend.  These are the men I feel a connection with or am drawn to for something more than just casual dates.  They have substance.  They are smart and funny.  They are the ones I can imagine blending lives with, waking up next to for days, months or years.

We had a great deal of fun the rest of the cruise pointing at different men and mouthing, “Team A” or “Team B”.

Team A?  The young hardbodies.  And sometimes, just for fun, the middle-aged, shlumpy, overweight men, too.

Team B? The handsome forty-somethings with laugh-lines.

As much fun as we had joking about this on the cruise, I implemented it when we got back.  The Team concept has been the best thing I’ve done since I started dating.  It helps keep things in perspective.

There isn’t enough attachment to the Team A players for hurt feelings when they don’t call.  In spite of that, they do a great job of keeping you busy and occupied until a Team B player shows up!

They also help keep you busy when the Team B fella shows up.  Which, apparently, makes you even more desired by the Team B guy.  I have it on pretty good authority that men want the unattainable.  The best way to seem like a busy challenge is to be a busy challenge!  Team A guys are great at keeping you busy.

baseball player hitting a home run

I’ve moved a few potential Team B players to Team A.  Like major league players shifted down to the minor leagues.  Most Team A players do not have the option of getting bumped up to Team B, just like most minor leaguers never make it to the majors.

Nature Boy could have been the exception to that rule.  Which makes sense, since he was the exception to all my other rules, too.

Question:  What is your best dating tip?  How did it help?

adventures in dating (or I get by with a little help from my friends)


group of smiling friends

 

Men are lovely but what every girl really needs is her friends.  Men come and go like the tide.

A tight group of friends will carry you through heartaches and heartbreaks.  They will celebrate with you when things are going well.  They will analyze your love life with you until even you don’t want to talk about it anymore.

This week, I need my friends even more than usual.  Nature Boy and I spent five days together last week.  It was fun and easy.  Being with Nature Boy is always easy.  But he’s as skittish as one of the wild stallions who roam out west.  By Friday, he’d scattered like one of those startled stallions.

Since Coach left, I’ve done a good job of not getting too attached to any given man.  I rotate a few fellas, going out when our schedules collide.  I’m always open to meeting new guys.  But Nature Boy makes me feel things I’ve never felt before.   He makes me want things I haven’t wanted in a long time.  Stillness.  Togetherness.

I’m thankful for my generous friends who laugh with me, storm with me, cry with me.  Whatever I need.  Whenever I need it.

What I need most this week is to stay busy and to forget.  Forget how good it felt being with Nature Boy.